Krooks
Automatic is playing with those crooks again. You know, the ones who promise that just a few of your hard earned dollars could be taken and multiplied exponentially. Miraculously. Like Jesus feeding the 5,000 or something. Or the ones who want “investment” partners for giraffe farms and hair transplant centers and cloning devices. Or the ones who want to simply give you a whole lot of their money. For no reason other than they have become “unable to care for it”. No strings attached. Really. Just give them your bank account information, and they will be sure to make a deposit as soon as they get in touch with their attorney. And oh, yeah, could you also leave your social security number. Just for assurance. They promise there wont be a clone with your identification show up in Berlin and kill several members of the police while robbing a bank. They promise that a group of uneducated nihilists with a rabid marmot wont show up at your house and pee on your carpet. You know, the one that ties the room together. (Thank you Cohen brothers) Please. They just want to help. They have lots of love to give. Have you received one of these emails? Have you? Are we really supposed to believe investment bankers with what seems like a 6th grade education? Or medical doctors that are prone to leaving all the articles and pronouns out of their sentences?
(ie. am writing to with hope of help children dying aids in state of Africa) - It’s helpful knowing Africa is a state, buddy.
Anyway, in the hi-jinx that are sure to follow with said crooks, at the hand of Automatic’s bitter pen, (along with his trusty sidekick, Spud), it’s hard for anyone not to be amused. I have created a few poses myself. If you ever find yourself at the receiving end of an earnest, yet idiotic, request, you might have fun striking one of the following. Consider it one small step for the better man. For the honest man. For the more educated man. I mean, of course you’re being fraudulent, but so are these guys. At least your reasons are sincere. For that matter, aren’t you equally exasperated that everybody and his brother wants you to know how you can make your penis bigger? Do you keep trying to shoot that damn turkey so you can win a $20 gift certificate to Applebees? Do they really think you’ll have trouble telling the difference between Paris Hilton, Micheal Jackson and Fred Durst? Hey, anytime you have an opportunity to respond to this nonsense, feel free to use one of the following:
TOP FIVE IDIOTIC CHARACTERS THAT THE CROOKS HAVE TO BELIVE IN (because they want to so badly)
1. Brandon Bentitoff - a contortionist who has injured himself and is no longer able to work. Seems his insurance has limited coverage.
2. Dr. Simon Saysagan - a licensed psychiatrist who stands to lose his license pending lawsuits filed by several patients.
3. Ramon - did you see the movie Zoolander?
4. Cowboy McGee - poor guy, he needs help ridding his land of all those pesky Indians.
5. Laser Vex - seems nobody will pay for an operation that this young lady desperately needs. Well…one she desperately wants, anyway.
Not that I’ve tried any of these out or anything, but I’m pretty sure they’re full-proof. At least for a little while. Especially when people want so desperately to believe you. Hey, if the Yes Men can fool the World Trade Organization, anything is possible. If you have no idea what I am talking about, or you want a little inspiration, try this: http://theyesmen.org/
(ie. am writing to with hope of help children dying aids in state of Africa) - It’s helpful knowing Africa is a state, buddy.
Anyway, in the hi-jinx that are sure to follow with said crooks, at the hand of Automatic’s bitter pen, (along with his trusty sidekick, Spud), it’s hard for anyone not to be amused. I have created a few poses myself. If you ever find yourself at the receiving end of an earnest, yet idiotic, request, you might have fun striking one of the following. Consider it one small step for the better man. For the honest man. For the more educated man. I mean, of course you’re being fraudulent, but so are these guys. At least your reasons are sincere. For that matter, aren’t you equally exasperated that everybody and his brother wants you to know how you can make your penis bigger? Do you keep trying to shoot that damn turkey so you can win a $20 gift certificate to Applebees? Do they really think you’ll have trouble telling the difference between Paris Hilton, Micheal Jackson and Fred Durst? Hey, anytime you have an opportunity to respond to this nonsense, feel free to use one of the following:
TOP FIVE IDIOTIC CHARACTERS THAT THE CROOKS HAVE TO BELIVE IN (because they want to so badly)
1. Brandon Bentitoff - a contortionist who has injured himself and is no longer able to work. Seems his insurance has limited coverage.
2. Dr. Simon Saysagan - a licensed psychiatrist who stands to lose his license pending lawsuits filed by several patients.
3. Ramon - did you see the movie Zoolander?
4. Cowboy McGee - poor guy, he needs help ridding his land of all those pesky Indians.
5. Laser Vex - seems nobody will pay for an operation that this young lady desperately needs. Well…one she desperately wants, anyway.
Not that I’ve tried any of these out or anything, but I’m pretty sure they’re full-proof. At least for a little while. Especially when people want so desperately to believe you. Hey, if the Yes Men can fool the World Trade Organization, anything is possible. If you have no idea what I am talking about, or you want a little inspiration, try this: http://theyesmen.org/
posted by The Passenger at 10:52 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home