War of the Worlds

So let's talk about Tom Cruise. Everyone else is. Seems like the gnawing question stuck in the craw of pop culture is how did America's favorite sex symbol/movie star turn into a wack-job poster boy for Scientology? Well, what are the facts?

1. He walks out on an 11 year relationship with a perfect, centered, obscenely talented and beautiful Australian woman.

2. He has a self-destructive and obsessive 2 year fling with the anorexic Penelope Cruz.

3. He calls up the waifish Katie Holmes because he finds out she has apparently stalked him for years. And still has posters of him on her wall, though she is 26 years old.

4. He declares his undying love for Katie everywhere. (This includes the whole jumping on the couch episode from Oprah) Commits to marrying her and converting her to Scientology.

5. He starts fights with everyone everywhere. As he walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour with the tenants of his religion. (This includes attacking Matt Lauer and denying that all psychological 'conditions' don't really exist.)

*I've just got to make this comment while I linger on #5 here. Personally, I don't know anything about Brooke Shields and what makes her tick. But I do know a little something about psychological 'conditions'. I mean all the women I have ever dated. Ever. Except for Nicole, of course, (ironically enough), have had a psychological 'condition'. Be it bi-polar disorder, manic-depressive, or a common household depression. For Tom to imply that these things don't exist and that medication for these is a just a crutch, well...he denies my entire career of relationships. In a way. And I don't appreciate it. Maybe he gets some special powers from aliens somewhere, as denoted in the annals of his belief system, but leave the rest of us out of the menagerie of your dementia. So you have a lot of exposure. So you have a platform. So you have strong opinions. BFD! My current girlfriend thinks you've become an arrogant agenda pushing asshole. And she has a psychological 'condition'. Don't make me agree with her. I love Magnolia and Eyes Wide Shut.

6. Is this really necessary. We get the point. Boo all you haters! Yeah Scientology! Boo Matt Lauer! Yeah Katie Holmes! Tom - you leave that nice Christian country girl alone.

Well, you know my take on all this. Tom Cruise, American beauty, once loved by millions internationally, has began the process of alienating his adoring public. And the road from mesmerizing to madness began with #1. He left Nicole. His rock. There is no saving him now. He is as lost without her as I find myself even now.

Now I'm not going to do anything stupid like go out and boycott his movies or anything. Anymore than I would name my greasy potatoes freedom fries or stop buying French wine. I know a guy that has a mentally afflicted friend who was highly offended by Tom's comments to the press, and refuses to ever give his support to a Cruise-driven vehicle. That's his prerogative. For me, there are enough Starb**** going up in my neighborhood everyday to keep up a daily defensive. As far as Hollywood goes, let them say what they want. I'll just enjoy the show. Hope to catch a matinee this weekend

I Have Arrived?

Automatic said "get off your ass and blog already!" He who just wrote a paragraph for the first time in over 2 months. He who has a commitment to at least 4 other writing gigs that he's also let flounder for much too long. He who drives a jeep with a leaf pattern and the dashboard painted black. He with a much too medium head. What's his excuse?

Me, well, I've been out of commission. Since I have shared with you the revelation that I have a midget in my soul - this brought out by my 9 year old daughter - I have lost my home and I have lost my job. I believe this entitles me to a little slack in regards to the updating of this and other blogs I may or may not have a firm responsibility to. Doesn't it? After all, it's only been a little over a month since my absence. Bite me Automatic. Bite me up and down - in the words of someone that used to be fond of.

Now, I don't want you all to feel sorry for me. About the whole homeless and jobless thing. I have friends here in the Windy City. (Or the hot as hell city as I call it on this 28th day of June) And they are taking care of me. For now. I have a place to stay. Roommates once again. 2 woman. I feel like Jack Tripper. Yes, it's their place and they are the ones paying the rent. But I take care of them. Essentially. While they go off to there respective and respectful jobs, I stay at home and cook and clean and wait for them to come home for dinner. And, I guess, I blog in the meantime.

What I need is my own job. What I need is a sense of independence. What I need is a beautiful house. With a beautiful car. And a beautiful wife. And it would also help to know what the hell I am here for. As things stand now, I am a 36-37 year old bachelor, once divorced, with a child out of state, degrees that leave me qualified for nothing and overqualified for everything, a hot new girlfriend I lean on much too much and a sense of self worth that is about as regular as my bowel movements. All this and the whole Nicole Kidman thing still dogs me like a sonofabitch. What's one to do but blog. I guess. And pray. Pray a lot.

I know there have been a whole lot of pop culture episodes since I have last written. What with the Michael Jackson verdict, Dick Durbin's big mouth, the whole Tom Cruise - Katie Holmes explosion, not to mention all the missing people off in islands somewhere and the continued capitalistic progress of Starb**** and Walmart. And I will comment on all that. Believe me, my absence has nothing to do with a loss of words. So...I'll start over. I'll begin again. A new era in the life of the Passenger. Let's play catch-up. Let the games begin.
In the meantime, I came across this little delight, reprinted from GQ magazine for July. It is one of 62 reasons to love your country. So says someone named Devin. This one is # 12. Remember, it does, in no way, reflect this author's views or opinions. So take it with a grain of salt. Enjoy.

12. STARBUCKS COFFEE...SERIOUSLY. In New York, where I live, people complain about Starbucks. It's part of the litany: Wal-Mart, Barnes & Noble, Home Depot, the Gap. People unleash the litany to illustrate many different forms of American decay: homogenization, rapid consumerism, the architecture and design of fakeness, strip malls. But what Starbucks means isn't the death of culture. Starbucks means applying the engine of American corporate expansion for a good cause: bringing good coffee to places that used to serve Sanka. A Starbucks on every corner? Fine with me. I'm not saying I like their folk music or their $24 dessert drinks or the "lifestyle" they try to sell you. But when I'm driving on the 90 and see that Starbucks sign lit bright over the flatlands and I know I won't have to drink watery slop from a Mobil station, I'm pretty fucking happy about it."