SHIT STORM

They're back. More antics from the freaky five across the street. I know THEY are the ones that have the sign - WE CALL POLICE. But now I just might have to do the same thing.

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, you can read the original post: http://kafiendkharma.blogspot.com/2005_03_01_kafiendkharma_archive.html

Or just check out the video footage: http://homepage.mac.com/themidgettes/Cultivated/iMovieTheater39.html

If you are just too lazy to do either, the long and the short of it is that there is a cult of "dog people" who live across the street. Their monarch is a mongrel named Bud. They bring him out to do his "business" - whatever his "business" may be - on a stretcher. And they act very suspicious for about 45 minutes to an hour. They may be Korean. They may be involved in some sort of Bud-worship. They may be have been poisoning him and now Bud is crippled. I don't know. I just know they are freaky. Hence the freaky five moniker.

This post is more than just an update on my neighbor's suspect activity. Hard evidence has now been discovered. New shit has come to light - so to speak. Proving once and for all just how incredibly insane and evil these people really are. Before I get to that, however, let me relate a few key episodes that have led up to this current epidemic.

* Another lady in my building - Sherry - is out watering the lawn when the freaky five are doing the Bud thing. They are staring her down like a sniper.
She shouts out, "What are you looking at?"
They yell back at her in unison, "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!"

*The next-door-neighbor's boyfriend - Don - is coming back with a couple of six packs of Amstel Light from the White Hen. He is walking - since the White Hen is right around the corner - minding his own business. If he had even realized the freaky five were out, he might have walked on the other side of the street. But he didn't. It was too late. He crossed in front of them and the larger of the "watchers" tried to stun him with her mojo. Casting her wrist in his direction and winding her hand at him like some crack-addled-Spiderwoman, she cast her curse. Don, of course, was freaked out and tried to "wipe off" the mojo. We have yet to discover whether he was successful.

*Okay, I told my new, hot girlfriend not to do this, but she just couldn't help herself. One day when the five were out with Bud, she deliberately parked her car right in front of them. When she got out, she approached them. Bud made a sound like a legion of demons.
She asked, point blank, "What's wrong with your dog?"
A watcher said, "He's got arthritis."

(Arthritis? This is pure bullshit. A mere cover. I was honestly worried about her destroying the mystique of the freaky five with her inane questions, but now I believe she has added to it)

She asked, "Is he making that sound because I am too close?"
A watcher replied, "Yes."

That's it. End of conversation. My new, hot girlfriend walks away. Out of the awkward, seething silence.
All of this is sort of weird, right? Now let me tell you about our current war. (Of which I am not a willing participant.)

I know, in the past, there have been some questions as to whether Bud is actually capable of a normal bowel movement. (I stated in my first posting on the freaky five that I had never witnessed any actual poo.) Question no more, however. It has hit the fan.

This past week, as I have been watching the freaky five's evening adventures, I noticed that they have been crossing the street. I mean actually coming over - close - to where I am. Then 3 nights ago, I filmed them for about an hour as they carried Bud around the next-door-neighbor's yard. When I told her - Jennifer- about this the next day, she found a pile of shit in her Gerbera Daisies. Coincidence? I think not.

The next night at about 11:30 pm, Jennifer called and informed me that the freaks were in my front yard. Honestly, I was too exhausted to get out of bed. (This unemployment is tiring.) So, the next morning, guess what I found in MY Gerbera Daisies?

Well, my hot, new girlfriend, who is a hell of a lot more confrontational than I will ever be, would not stand for it. She took a bag and filled it with the still-moist poo and deposited it on the freaky five's front porch. I never saw them make the discovery, but a couple of hours later, I saw the bag lying beside a row of box bushes in their yard. (It's still there.)

This leads me to today. I go out to the backyard - which is gated, by the way - to water the new tomato plants I put in last week. (Okay, no smart comments. I know that I was really ripping into the whole green thumb thing recently when my hot, new girlfriend wanted me to go to the Home Depot with her, but I have become weak. Plus I really like tomatoes.) And what do I find? Smack dab on top of the tiny white wild flowers that border my tomato plants. A fresh pile of shit from the night before. Dog shit. And I have no dog. In fact, there are no dogs in my building at all.

Anyway, it looks like my new, hot girlfriend has really stirred things up. And I am really scared. If they have the nerve to bring Bud into a gated yard to do his "business", what's next? I would get the police involved, but I fear further retaliation. I honestly don't know what they're capable of. With their...Bud. And their...mojo. And their...shit. Guess I'm really in the thick of it now.

Lollapalooza Squared

It was one degree shy of the all time heat record. 104 degrees in the shade. 115 degrees on that heat index thing they configure. 4 people died in the Chicago area from heat exhaustion. So why did I, a person that despises the heat, spend 12 hours straight smack in the middle of it all?

LOLLAPALOOZA!

I know what I said. You don't have to throw it back in my face. I recently spent a lot of time ranting about Perry Farrell rubbing his tempting festival in my face while I was currently in one of the most difficult financial times in my entire 37 year old life. But you see, that is the irony of this whole thing. I received some generous gifts for my birthday last week. Among them - cash. So, I decided to forgo eating for a while and spend $60 of that money on a one day ticket to Lollapalooza. Granted, I missed out on The Pixies and Weezer, but there were 9 bands playing on Sunday that I wanted to see. As opposed to only 5 on Saturday. Besides, I will try to catch Weezer when they go on tour this fall with the Foo Fighters. (Hopefully I will have a job at that point - at least I wont have to deal with the heat)

So anyway, I experienced Lollapalooza yesterday. In all that heat. And today, I am suffering from a mild form of heat exhaustion myself. Forget that my body looks like a lobster and my skin is begging to feel the effects of its age. I also have been having migraines and stomach aches. Plus, I slept until 11:00 today. Today is one of those days it's good to be unemployed.

Let's get to some of the highlights, shall we?

OK GO - Odd, but great energetic set. Including a great cover of the Violent Femme's "Prove My Love". Good way to start my day. Fun party band. Go see them live if you get the chance. When they wrapped their live set, they actually played the recording of their new single, rather than play it live, and they danced to it - Village People style.

The Ponys - Solid punk band from Chicago. With a girl bassist that also sings. I stayed for about half their set. Then I had to go get some *rest, shade and water.

*This is repeated about every hour.

Blue Merle - I checked these guys out because I haven't heard any of their music, but I have heard a lot about them. They played covers of the Talking Head's "Psycho Killer" and the Police's "So Lonely" and some other slow song I didn't know. I got bored and went over to'

Kasabian - These guys sound like a cross between the bands Oasis and Manbreak. A sonic flavor over heavy guitar and lyrics that come out like rapping on occasion. I was sort of impressed and probably will buy their album. If you like this kind of music, you should too. Not too much stage presence though. They sure said 'fuck' a lot. And 'God Bless You'.

Dinosaur Jr - These guys look old. Probably because they are. They've been around - off and on - for...ever. I watched about 1/3 of their set - which included a brutal version of the Cure's "Just Like Heaven". Which I was sort of fond of. If you like heavy distortion in your music and don't mind someone occasionally screaming incoherently for no reason, you probably like Dinosaur Jr. I had to, at least, check them out, but now I know why I never bought their albums in the 80s and 90s.

Tegan and Sara - A two girl band with organ and guitar. They were actually interesting. Until Sara got heat exhaustion and threw down her guitar and walked off the stage with no explanation. Tegan took that as her cue to shine on her own.(This is something they don't tell you on the Lollapalooza website.) But then the set began to fall apart. As did I.

Drive By Truckers - What can I say? These guys are awesome. Their lyrics poignant and funny and sad and brilliant. If you like your music deep fried and country-fied, you should definitely go see these guys when they come around. If you are just starting out with their music, get Declaration Day.

* I am going to skip down and comment on the Killer's set next. I know this is out of order from how my day unwound, but I want to save the best for last.

The Killers - Okay, I saw these guys a little over a year ago as the opening act for a band called Stellstar in a tiny club that holds about 500 people. I was right up on the stage at that time. Nobody knew who they were then. The cult of "Somebody Told Me" hadn't swept the radio yet and Hot Fuss was months from being available. When I witnessed them that first time, I thought they had something. I was honestly impressed.
To see them in the midst of about 15,000 people, as one of the headliners of Lollapalooza, with everyone screaming out the words to all their songs, was quite interesting. Good for them.
While it was a great set. Full of energy and emotion. (As Automatic can attest to, since I phoned him and held up the cell phone to capture their rousing closing of "All These Things That I've Done" - like an idiot I did this for my friend - the things we do) But it was sort of bittersweet. Made me long for those times of band anonymity where you can still enjoy them in the tiny bars before they explode into stardom. Yesterday did not compare to that opening Chicago set in the Double Door two winters ago. Maybe they just had so much more to prove back then.

Arcade Fire - Okay, I have been listening, enthralled, to Funeral for months, but had yet to see them live. Now I am hating myself for missing their tiny bar set before they "made it big". This band is brilliant. In so many ways. There must have been about 7 or 8 of them on the stage, but it seemed like a dozen. They were all over the place. Constantly switching instruments. (Everyone played everything) Creating elaborate, high-stakes dramas between themselves and the audience. Truly compelling. Truly original. I mean, I have a hard time describing their music as it is, but to see it all played out in front of you is another animal altogether. Double xylophones, accordions, wood on a stick, violins and a French horn (which Win Butler - the main singer - called a 'freedom horn' - "don't let those French bastards suck you in with their labeling - it's dangerous - dangerous, I tell you".)
If you do not have a chance to see these guys live, you must find some video of them performing so you can see what I am talking about. I really am at a loss describing them and don't do the set justice. They are beating on things with drumsticks, from the microphone itself to each other's heads. Chasing each other on and off the stage. They are maniacs and so spectacular to watch. When they finally closed the set, as Win was singing the final strains of Rebellion (Lies), he walked off the stage and into the middle of the crowd - out into the midst of us - touching the common folk - and then just disappeared. Brilliant, I say, brilliant.

If there was anything that was worth all the pain (money and heat) of Lollapalooza, it was Arcade Fire's set alone. I even left the park during Death Cab for Cutie's closing , but I was okay with that. They might not have been done but I was. I got my fill of the day through AF alone.

Oh yeah, there were a lot of interesting naked people there as well. But hey - it was hot.

Who's Next

Have you heard about these guys? Not the rockers. The Parent's Television Council. Here's their mission statement:

The Parents Television Council was founded in 1995 to ensure that children are not constantly assaulted by sex, violence and profanity on television and in other media. This national grassroots organization has nearly one million members across the United States, and works with television producers, broadcasters, networks and sponsors in an effort to stem the flow of harmful and negative messages targeted to children. The PTC also works with elected and appointed government officials to enforce broadcast decency standards. Most importantly, the PTC produces critical research and publications documenting the dramatic increase in sex, violence and profanity in entertainment. This information is provided free of charge so parents can make informed viewing choices for their own families.

Well, that's all fine and good. I am all for common decency and morality. (Unless someone else is trying to make that dictate for me) But, I will tell you what I am not for - any organization that tries, well meaning as they are, to pull the responsibility for the child away from the parent. This is a subtle way of undermining - don't you see it? Just like my rant about the Columbine situation awhile back. Just like my rant about that horrible tragedy in Minnesota a couple of months ago. We are responsible for our own children until the time that they can be responsible for themselves. We certainly can't leave that job up to the media, or the educational system, or the church, and especially not some social action group that tries to put pressure on the FCC. I don't want any more pressure on the FCC - honestly. More regulations - is that really the answer? That's probably the reason televisions sucks so bad right now. That's why I try not to watch it.

*And just as a side note - you want to halt the disintegration of the media? Stop the humiliation and manipulation that goes along with reality television. All that shit is straight from Satan - mainlined into our veins like a sick cancer. Now that's a real battle.

I thank God for the tiny bit of tv with substance. For cutting edge networks like HBO and FX to liven things up a bit. But, you see, I know enough not to let my 9 year old daughter watch Tony Soprano "fuck somebody up". She can't see that until she is, at least, 11.

But I digress. This is about my current beef with the PTC. Seems their latest outrage concerns ABC's broadcast of some of the Live 8 concerts on July 2. Particularly the Who's performance of their classic song, "Who Are You". Now, if you grew up listening to classic rock - like I did - you have heard this song on the radio a million times. A.M. and F.M. And you've worked your way through several copies of Who's Next in your lifetime. And if you have, you know that towards the end of the song, Roger Daltry gets a tad excited and yells out "Who the fuck are you!" Well, he evidently did the same thing in ABC's broadcast on the 2nd. Why shouldn't he? And well, ABC failed to hit the delay switch. And millions of viewers heard the f-word on live television - many of them children. Big Fucking Deal! It is not important! This is not even a case of wardrobe malfunction. It is just a word. A tiny four letter word.

I am going to tell you what happened. Those guys sitting in the office there. Monitoring the satellite link to Britain. Just like the rest of us. They have heard this song all their life. Come on! It's Roger Daltry and Pete Townsend we're talking about here. I am sure that part of the chorus came and went and it didn't even faze them. And why should it? I have never heard that song edited by a single radio station. Ever. Just like I've never heard them edit the word bullshit out of "Money" by Pink Floyd. As it should be. These are classic rock songs. You don't mess with them. You don't question them. These artists have established themselves. They're not a threat. They're the sounds of expression. Please! Can we fight a relevant fight in this country or what?

I mean, what were the Live 8 concerts about anyway? Fixing the debt problem for some third world countries. Maybe showing a little Christian compassion. Maybe we could enter into a discussion with our children about that. Rather than bitch about how scarred they might be as a result of Roger Daltry's outburst. And please, don't tell me about how this might set a trend - that conditions will worsen - that we have to make an example - COME ON! Need I bring up reality television again. This is the Apocalypse already.
I would like to parent my own child. Thank you very much. I don't need anyone else setting the standards for her development. What is appropriate or inappropriate.

Some of you make ask, "Hey, Passenger. How would you like it if your kid was witness to the Who's "obscene" performance?" Well, guess what? She was. And she loved it. We talk about things. We discuss. Unlike, I am assuming, the families of the "outraged Americans" who were watching the concert on ABC and the Parent's Television Council. And she's better off for it. Now she wants to borrow my copy of Quadrophenia. How you like them apples?

Please PTC. This is a pointless gesture.

If they must rock...let them fucking rock!

Lollapalooza

Some of you have been wondering about my well being. Seems I have focused so much on celebrities and Jesus sightings lately, that many feel I have been avoiding the sad facts concerning my own life and the way it is unfolding. Well...fine. If you'd rather hear about my personal gripes as opposed to those of the rich and famous, I'll "share" with you for a while.

As many of you know, I am a music fan. Not just a listen-to-the-radio-every-once-in-a-while kind of guy. Not just a hey-what-is-this-new-cd-on-the-endcap-at-Walmart kind of guy. I am obsessed, thank you very much. My collection of music is monstrous. Vinyl, cassette, cd, what have you. And, no thanks to I-Tunes, my appetite is never satiated. Part of this love, obviously, involves seeing bands live. (Which I used to do on a regular basis) However, being unemployed doesn't provided much of a means for maintaining such a practice. Meanwhile I live in one of the third largest cities in the U.S. and it's the middle of the summer. I'm like a penniless alcoholic in a bar. It's like the city of Chicago has this giant, musical middle finger stuck right in my face. It's just sick.

White Stripe tickets go on sale...I can't go.
John Hiatt with Shawn Colvin in September...I can't go.
Sigur Ros coming up...I can't go.
The Old 97's at some street festival on Sunday night with a $5.00 suggested donation...oh wait a minute, I can't go.

But the thing that really burns me up. The thing that really makes me ashamed of my current situation. The thing that really rubs my face in it, all started with Perry Farrell. Maybe you know him. Ex lead singer of Jane's Addiction. Started a little something called Lollapalooza about a decade ago. Well, guess what? Lollapalooza is here next weekend. Saturday and Sunday. In downtown Chicago. $60 for one day and $115 for both. With all the coolest bands in the world. (This is the understatement of the year) Bands I have been trying to see for a while now. Bands I lust after.

You'd think I'd be tired of music festivals after Cornerstone, but no way. Look at this line up:

The Pixies, Weezer, Widespread Panic, the Killers, the Arcade Fire, Liz Phair, the Black Keys and Death Cab For Cutie are among the acts that will play the reconfigured Lollapalooza festival, which, as previously reported, will be held July 23-24 in Chicago's Grant Park.Also on the bill are Cake, Dashboard Confessional, Dinosaur Jr., Kasabian, Kaiser Chiefs, Louis XIV, Tegan & Sara, M83, Los Amigos Invisibles, Blue Merle, the Redwalls, the Changes, Dandy Warhols, Digable Planets, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Billy Idol, the Bravery and Blonde Redhead.

AND I CAN'T GO!!!

I mean, I'd pay the $60 for the Pixies alone - if I had the money. What is a poor music lover to do. Stuck in the city of Lollapalooza. Great music in front of my face and I can't get to it. I'll tell you what I will probably do. I will probably hang out around the festival grounds downtown. Standing outside the gates. Bumming cigarettes. Craning my ears to hear the music that I will never see.

It's pathetic. For a man getting ready to celebrate his 37th birthday, carrying his no-job-getting ass down to the music event of the year and hanging around like a homeless person, jacking for tunes. Thank you Perry Farrell. Thank you very much. I blame you for this. I thought live music was "by the people and for the people" Well, this people can't get none right now. And he's pissed.

Maybe I should have discussed the Pope's aversion to the Harry Potter novels. Or those nutballs who are already camping out for Saturday's release of The Half-Blood Prince. It's a lot less irritating.

http://www.lollapalooza.com/default.asp?fd=1

Jesus Bel Grande

I would be the first one to admit that people find God in the most unexpected places. But reading the news lately (or visiting Ebay, as things may be) makes me realize that we have come a long way since the discovery of the Shroud of Turin.

I'm not even sure which sighting came first, but if you keep up with the news of the weird at all, or even if you just visit the Drudge Report every once and a while, you know what I am talking about. Whether you are Catholic or Protestant, atheist or agnostic, you can't deny the media's recent coverage of an insurgence of religious apparitions all across the world. Used to be, somebody would get the stigmata or a statue of the Virgin Mary would begin to cry tears of blood in some church down in Mexico. The press would go buck wild taking photos and camping out. With questions about the "presence of an active and very-much-alive God". "What's he going to do next?" All that crap. Then things would die down and we would all go back to living like he didn't exist.

These days, however, it seems like God is everywhere. Let's see...last year, his mother's face was burned into a tree trunk in Northern Chicago. Now there is a church built on the premises. If you are one that likes to bid in online auctions, it's not just where you can find those difficult floor tickets for U2's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb tour. (Which, by the way, if anyone knows where I can get a couple of those for their September dates in Chicago, please let me know. I don't have Nicole around anymore, so it's hard to get the celebrity hook-up.) In just the past couple of months, on Ebay, if you were savvy enough, you could have picked up a tortilla or a grilled cheese sandwich with the Virgin Mary's image burned into it - take your pick. Or Jesus on a piece of toast - olive loaf, I think it was. Buttered or unbuttered. Or for those who really have money to burn or were willing to pay the extreme postage...the whole side of a toilet tank. Seems that face of our Lord had appeared in a hunk of mold. It's true. I have the picture to prove it. See!

Yesterday, however, I received some news that grieved my soul. In the midst of this abundance of God sightings, one city has taken steps to eradicate the record of his visitation. In the neighborhood of East Chicago, in Indianapolis, IN, a streetlight had begun to shine an image of Jesus Christ onto an adjacent tree. For days, hundreds of people had come to see this miracle. Many staying through the night, causing traffic nightmares with illegally parked cars. After officers tried to make the gathering disperse last Friday, a fist fight ensued and left many bloody, but Christ remained. As of Sunday, however, a meeting by local officials found it necessary to turn off the streetlight until further notice. Seems the East Chicago authority's manpower was just no competition for the crowds that the light of Christ drew. They decided to shut it down, rather than to fight the good fight.

I have no doubt that we will continue to see evidences of God all around us. If you are having trouble finding him where you're at, maybe you are just not looking hard enough. Go to your window and look out. Better yet, go outside and look around. If you live in the city, look past all that shit. If you live in the suburbs, look past all the strip malls. Chances are, he's right in front of your face.
If you still can't see him, I feel sorry for you. But there's always Ebay and *Taco Bell.

*Please note: this author is in no way endorsing Taco Bell. Please, do not eat there. Their food is garbage and it will make you feel like shit. Thank you. For that matter, please try not to eat at any fast food restaurant. If you do, you only have yourself to blame for all those health problems.

WIFI

What is our world coming to? Personally, I believe that a large percentage of the policing that goes on around here should be directed at serial killers and rapists and child molesters and drug dealers with a penchant to sell to kids on the playground. I mean, lets be honest. We live in a pretty fucked up world right now. And the sickness is spreading every day. For all you know, some very dark things could be going on in the house right next door. The next Manson or Dahmer or Susan Smith. Or worse yet, it could be happening right at the end of your driveway.

Its official. For the first time ever, a man has been arrested and is about to standtrial for the stealing of a wifi signal. Now before I even get into this, let me just say that as I write this, I am sitting in my neighborhood coffee shop (TheGrind) enjoying the liberty of a wireless internet signal. They offer one - free of charge. Unfortunately though, my laptop doesnt seem to like using their signal. Instead it picks up on a loose signal. One just flying around the air. Someone who refers to themselves as bitch.

Now, I consider myself someone with a strong moral compass. Someone who can barely tell a tiny little half-truth without feeling convicted about it. Its supposed to be that way. But if you think that I feel bad about gaining access to the internet through bitch's signal, you are sadly mistaken. I feel no remorse. Like I said, its just up there. In the air. Loose. For anyone and everyoneto grab and go surfing on the world wide web. This is something that I do. It is something that every does. Now I am not saying, either, that something becomes right just because every else is doing it, but COME ON!! Its a freaking internet signal. Bitch can stop me if he/she wants to. Just put in a password or an encryption code. Until that time, it's a free-for-all.

I have wireless internet at my house. I don't pay for it. Primarily because it's not my house. But, the people I stay with right now do - that makes things legit. But up until the time that this current misfortune befell me and I had to rely on the kindness of strangers for all my basic needs, I guess, I stole internet access - so says "the man". If I was in my apartment and a could hold my computer over my head, out the window, standing on one leg, in order to get a signal that I didn't have to pay for, I'd do it in a heartbeat. If I could sit outside of a Dairy Queen and access their Grill and Chill online account without having to buy a chili dog, I was there. And why shouldn't I be able to do that? Isn't it my God-given right? This is getting ridiculous.

In fact, the most preposterous part of this entire story is the fact that current legislation is going to make it possible for a lot of major cities, country-wide, to be wired up for completely free internet access. This is the future. It may be a little Orwellian, but that's progress. At least it will help the government get a better handle on all the sickos out there who misuse the world wide web. Plus the socialist, liberal in me has no problem with more state control.

However, it looks like this new way of doing things is not getting its start in St Petersburg, Florida. This is where a 41 year old man was spotted with a laptop, in his SUV. Sitting in front of a neighbors house, accessing his neighbors floating wifi signal. So, his neighbor ratted him out and now he's facing jail time. Now, I know some of you are saying, well, he should of just been paying for his own signal. A 41 year old man. And wireless so affordable these days. What's his problem?

Well...we don't know what that man was going through! I am 4 years from 41, and WHO KNOWS! Maybe I'll be in the same position one day. They'll pick me up outside a Motel 8, jacking for signals! Let's just give this guy a break! Let us not begin such an inane crackdown! If the state is trying to make an example, they are too late. Internet is everywhere. If the guy was stealing credit card numbers or looking at kiddie porn, that is one thing, but he was just checking his email on his free Yahoo account. Let him go.

This reminds me of the fall of Napster and how, in an effort to crack down on illegal downloads of copy write protected music files, a 12 year old girl was arrested for stealing the new Britney Spears single to listen to. These are the real criminals, I guess.

What's next? Condoning torture in the name of God and country and war?

More to follow...

Also, thanks bitch!

Jesus Freaks

I like my God and world together on one plate. Mixing and swirling the sacred with the shit. And everything in-between. Why would I even try and separate something that Jesus ordained. Speaking of Jesus, let me tell you a little about my weekend.

It's called Cornerstone. And for those of you out of the loop, it is only the largest Christian music festival on the planet. Started by a bunch of hippies in 1984, (http://www.jpusa.org/), it is a Mecca of pierced punks, long hairs and hard edges, body painting and tattoos. All camping on 526 acres of open farm land in Bushnell, Illinois every 4th of July weekend. All with 2 things in common. A love of God and a love of music. It's like Woodstock without the drugs and alcohol and hedonism. Truly. You would never believe it unless you've been.

I hadn't. So this was my first taste of Cornerstone, and it was a bit overwhelming.
First, it was hot. And I don't do hot. That's why I live in Chicago and stay in the house during the summer time.
Second, it was dusty. And I'm not just talking about a little dirt. These are miles and miles of dirt roads, which you must traverse, trail blazed by golf carts and rvs and about 20,000 people. I was covered. I leaned into my cart to get something and my knee made a permanent spot on the upholstery. If they were going for the realism of Jesus' time, like walking the streets of Galilee and all - mission accomplished. It was recreated all over my body. I only wish we had scheduled foot washings like they did back then. Mine are currently stained black. I don't think this stuff is ever coming off.
Third, there were a lot of good bands, but after 4 days of the stuff you begin to feel like you never want to listen to music ever again. I am so exhausted with the melody of it all.
And finally, we have to sleep in tents. On the hard ground. With granddaddy long legs and other assorted spiders crawling over your loins and face as you try to sleep. Lulled with the sounds of hardcore punk bands still playing at 3:00 in the morning. Some of them sounding like demons ushering you into hell.

For fear of putting someone off, please know that there were many cool things about Cornerstone as well.
For instance, the kindness of a thousand strangers.
The strong feeling of community.
The freedom of the outdoors. (My girlfriend, in fact, has cried since we arrived home - the sacrifice of the great outdoors for the city was not something that she was prepared to do just yet. Especially when she had to go back to her Hollywood job with Vince Vaughn and the kid from A Christmas Story the next day.)
The distance. (I am really glad I only had to travel 225 miles to get there, as opposed to the 2000 - 3000 miles that some people went.)
Plus there were some really great sights. Kids everywhere. Giving away free hugs and body washes. Asking you to kiss their platypus or play limbo in the street. Babies with blue mohawks and parents trying to connect with their Goth offspring. Inspiring speakers and film premieres.

I discovered some great new bands while I was there as well. And when my ears stop ringing, I'll get some of their music for my own collection:

The Myriad: http://www.themyriad.net/

John Davis: http://www.johndavismusic.com/main.php

Roper: http://www.roperisdumb.com/

The Wayside: http://www.thewayside.net/music/index.cfm

Celestial Static: http://www.celestialstatic.com/

So, you ask me whether I'd do it again, and I tell you, yes. I mean, it was so great to get home (well my temporary home) and take a shower (which I didn't do for 3 days) and sleep in a soft bed and eat a freaking Caesar salad with a big hunk of salmon on it, but give me a year. I'll be back.

The long hair in me yearns to experience Woodstock. To go back to the sixties and be a part of that whole culture-changing experience. But then again, I might be tempted to walk around naked and get involved in some free love with a nubile hippie chick while taking LSD. At least at Cornerstone, I don't take that risk. I mean, there is some free love going around. It's just packaged a little differently.

http://www.cornerstonefestival.com/